Death and Life

Standing enveloped in the mist, I looked out across the mountainous forest scene, overcome with the bittersweet silence. The images of death, torture and massacre poisoned my mind while the screaming voices resounded in my ears. It was a Sunday-the same day the massacre occurred 26 years ago. On July 18, 1982, Plan de Sanchez, a small Mayan village was slaughtered by the state military in the most brutal way possible. Women raped and tortured. Children beaten and dashed against the rocks. Others abducted and tortured. Why? What was the reason for this horrendous act? There is no explanation. It was simply an act of utter genocide, which has never been brought to justice. Although the bodies have been exhumed and have received proper burials in this particular case, their deaths have not been justified.
Now there is a church built on top of their remains, which I feel, is a beautiful image- love and grace reigning over death and evil. (Not that a building holds that power by any means; rather the symbolism of what it represents acts as such). At this place, we were able to see the names of the people who had been killed and meet one of the survivors. It was heartbreaking to hear him describe how he had lost his entire family and he even pointed out the names of all his family members that were killed that day. In addition, we were able to see the paintings that people created on the walls of the church that depict the interpretations of that fateful day. Helicopters dropping bombs; women being led to be raped; children lying naked on the ground, bleeding to death. And then, in the middle of the horrific scene, which I actually did not notice at first, there was Jesus hanging on the cross with His blood pouring down. It was an interesting realization for me. Prior to that moment, not only was I feeling broken and sad, I had begun to have feelings of anger and bitterness. However, my demeanor slowly began to change as I stared at the image. Because of the brokenness of this world-the evil and selfishness of human beings, there is such pain and suffering. Often, the blame is immediately placed on God. People ask the question “Why God? Why do you let this happen if you were a loving God?” And if I was to be completely honest, I have asked the same question. But I began thinking more in that moment and I’ll let you in on my thoughts.
I was able to recognize this truth: the heart of the Father breaks at the sight of His creation destroying one another. He hates the evil, the greed, the suffering, but He endlessly and unconditionally loves the people. And seeing that none of us in ourselves can bring healing, He acts as the only hope in this broken, torn world is. He is the one who actually can restore and heal. Simplistic? Seemingly. But for me, I think the only answer that brings me to a place of hope and understanding and that makes the most sense. There are so many times in history in which
And then my thoughts went to some lyrics by Shad K that say the following:
“‘Like Lord please can we speak on this frankly
Like God why you letting this happen?’
‘Amen, he answered, son I'm askin you the same thing
Cause you're supposed to be my servants
Out here working like you're my hands reaching out to those that's hurtin
You don't have long on this earth
And I hope you won't compromise’...”
We let these things happen. We are so much a cause of things in this world. Our selfish greed; our desire for material and economic gain; our hunger for power-all these things contribute to the world that we live in. As in this war that went on for thirty-six years, it began due to the United Fruit Company wanting the fertile land that had been redistributed back to the indigenous. The greed of the few, destroyed the lives of thousands. Now, we have the ability, for example, to demand less things such as gold or nickel, which is a point of contention in Guatemala because the Canadian mines are exploiting and displacing thousands of indigenous people who are not at all reaping the benefits. If we demanded less or if our demand was conscious the environmental needs and physical/cultural needs of the people, than things would be different.
I also thought about the fact that I am no better than those killers. I, as a human being, am very capable of doing the same thing that those men did during the civil war. That realization was almost too much to bear. I wanted to point a finger and hate those men and make them out in my mind to be nothing and the scum of the earth, but I could not. Yes, they are going to receive the justice they deserve, but I too deserve it to be served since I have hated people at times through my actions and, by my words I have killed people’s spirits. I have allowed greed and selfishness to reign at times and have caused pain in the lives of others as a result. Thankfully, I have received forgiveness and healing and now God has allowed me to bring healing to the lives of others. And that hope that manifested itself in me, again brought me to a place of hope with Guatemala. God can heal. God can restore. God can redeem. And I know that He is beginning that here in Guatemala.

I was going to apologize for the heaviness of this post, but then decided against it. I felt it necessary to share this because it is such a large component of me being here. Daily, Guatemala faces the challenges of the 36 year civil war and its effects. I know that later posts will include more of this war. I hope you are able to process this with me and that it does create dialogue (whether external or internal)in your lives.